Get off the ledge: stop slinging resumes into the abyss and go connect, create and serve.
Get off the ledge… Photo by Justin Perkins
Whether you are stuck in a job, looking for a job, or trying to create new clients, I have found that the opportunities are always there, but you need to know where to look. Opportunity typically appears through conversations and finding ways to create value for people in companies you’re drawn to and you’d like to help.
It’s rare that new opportunities appear through thinking about something over and over, analysis, strategic lead generation tactics, wish-thinking, job sites, or waiting until you or the conditions are good enough.
When I found myself in a career transition a few years ago, it was terrifying for awhile. Despite loads of business experience, I was pretty convinced that I was too old, too specialized, and simultaneously overqualified and under-qualified. A lot of people I talk to feel the same way.
To be fair - there was also probably a global conspiracy collaborating to prevent me from ever leaving the job where I had stayed for 15 years.
Of course that story was absurd, and I took responsibility to change it. But it sure felt pretty real during that time period.
The key shift for me seemed to be in mindset and taking advantage of disruption as a creative opportunity. So with help from being coached by two amazing coaches, Jason Berv, and Ankush Jain, I found my mojo again and created my own luck through getting really engaged in the world. I had a concentrated period of creative conversations, coupled with a mindset of sincerely serving people.
Transitions are inevitable. So I thought it might be worth looking at how helpful it can be to accept things as they are, and use our creativity to take advantage of the variables in front of us instead of burning energy wishing things were different.
I am not a career coach, per se, but have come to love the "new edge" of transitions and the unknown. In my travels, I have now had the privilege to help several wonderful people navigate this ambiguous netherworld of career transition with more fun and grace. Well, at least grace! (But I have fun with the creative coaching process and seeing people stick the landing - that rules). So I thought I'd share some of these ideas from the New Edge Coaching laboratory a little more broadly in case there is anything new or it helps spark some momentum for you.
In my journey, I didn't see applying for jobs online "through the front door" as a likely way for someone with my eclectic background to find a job. Most people abhor that game. It’s winnable, but in my case, common sense told me: "good luck - you are an entrepreneur with a failed business, and 15 years of specialized sales in a company no one has heard of." This is despite a massive amount of skill that I'd earned. A very talented friend of mine had submitted his resume to 174 open positions and only got three interviews. That sounded miserable.
Instead, I thought "people who have worked with me know what I'm capable of" and every job I've ever touched has been left better than I found it.
So I "stuck the landing" because I just got creative, took one day at a time, got back on a learning curve, swatted my fear away like a tennis ball as it came up, again and again, to this day, and leaned into my growth. Taking action by having about 50 conversations in two months helped me refine what I did and didn't like, and helped me see where natural extension points could be.
It ended up being an awesome adventure in the process, and it was shockingly easy to line up lunches, calls or coffee with people - even strangers. You just have to ask and invite. I don't think anyone I asked said no. And even during the pandemic, I've found people are really hungry for authentic connection.
So I just followed my intuition around connecting with people I felt were open and doing interesting work that I admired. I used the opportunity to orient in a direction that felt exciting instead of leading with "I gotta find a job."
In an invitation, I would often just say I was interested in people and learning more about what they do (and meant it). No veiled sales pitches please - I get at least one a day on LinkedIn now and it's just so obvious when people are pushing product. Then depending on who I was talking to, I would try out a thesis that I was interested in, like "I'm thinking about whether I would be good at being a Chief Innovation Officer," and then ask for their feedback or advice to further the thesis and see if it was a fit. Then I'd follow the thread to see what made sense to do next. I eliminated two career pathways I thought I wanted that way, and ultimately fell in love with coaching - the career I think I will be doing until I die.
I will always cherish that pivot point, as scary as it was, because it trained me to enjoy how I spend a lot of my time, now. It's how my coaching practice grows and how I leapfrogged into quickly building a successful coaching business in a short time period. I just keep exploring the world through people who interest me, and sometimes I even interest them! Sometimes it's just a great one-off conversation - a great moment as an end in itself, or a seed planted that comes back around years later. Sometimes if there is great chemistry that naturally occurs, connections happen in the moment, projects get kicked around, or relationships move towards a formal business agreement. Sometimes I'll serve someone profoundly over a period of time, because they inspire me, or I see how I can help, and it leads to them referring a client, or they become a client.
So here are a few of the mindset shifts and practices I learned that helped me create the next chapter of my career. It's active advice I live and breath and give myself nearly every day as I enroll new coaching clients:
1. Stay "in the game" and in a creative flow. Cultivate that as best you can even if your inspiration leads you to occasionally go stare at a flower instead of being strapped to a chair editing a resume. I've been pleasantly surprised dozens of times how useful intuition can be to connect the dots - either with inspiration or non-linear activities that lead to a useful connection. We moved to a small village in the Black Forest in Southern Germany a few weeks ago, and my wife recently nudged me to join the local village wind orchestra after she learned about it from a neighbor. I didn't want to go. It would require walking into a room in front of 50 strangers in a language I can't speak. I went anyway, and it was awesome! People were so welcoming. I met a guy who is now a friend and connected to many businesses that I could help. He does similar work to me helping turn around businesses. And I had a blast in the process. And a bonus - I'm playing my saxophone again, and finding the practice time really good for my soul.
2. Put yourself on a "seeking ban." Make it a game to stop looking for the next client or job for 30 days. (Hat tip to Rich Litvin for this idea that he shares with his clients, especially around dating). Seeking puts you often into a state of neediness and worse, desperation. Instead, get involved in something you are really interested in where you're not worried about "getting something from it." Follow your curiosity and desire. People you're curious about. Activities that inspire you. "Give up" on the numbers game of slinging resumes through LinkedIn or trying to outsmart recruiter keyword algorithms for awhile. You may as well play the lottery instead. Put all of that resume time and energy into building relationships in the world doing something you enjoy. Go help people you're inspired by. Go serve. Drop the word "networking." Go build relationships and get into life.
3. The no resume challenge. I made it a fun challenge for myself to never use a resume again because I knew that resumes are a way (for computers) to weed people out. I probably spent as much time on resumes in my younger years as I did changing diapers with two kids. No thanks - I'm too good to be weeded out. So are you. I was very successful in sales and fundraising because of the same principle - I tried to never lead with something that could weed me out. I never led with a proposal if I could help it. I lead with questions and an intent to be of service. The whole game is to get into a conversation, and then an opportunity appears, chemistry happens, a need and solution is revealed - or it doesn't- which is totally fine. "Ichiego Ichie." Treasure the moment. That meeting was just practice or a chance to try on a new archetype and experiment. Or a seed planted for later. Mutual weeding out is great.
4. Opportunities are everywhere and tend to appear in nearly every conversation when you learn how to notice. My biggest problem is too many opportunities to physically chase down. My biggest challenge today is deciding where to say no. “Would you like some help with that?” are the magic words when you learn about someone’s challenges where you have ideas that might help and you feel sincerely compelled to get involved. It's important to remember you're rolling the dice on whether you would be able to even fit in an organization unless you have a conversation to discover if there's chemistry, and then invite another and maybe even another to test it out. If you show up relaxed and adding value each step of the way, you’re more likely to find authentic fit or move on. And at some point, it might make sense to formalize access to your talent.
5. Opportunities are more likely to be visible if you’re listening more from a genuine place of service and curiosity – not from a place of trying to impress or get something (otherwise known as quiet desperation). Don't worry, you will eventually get tired of the next job, too, it's not going to save you - it's just the next step. Don't put so much pressure on it. It's not the source of your happiness or wellbeing. It will be full of challenges and there will always be at least one "asshole" no matter how righteous the mission and values of the company. This is why cultivating your wellbeing and creativity is helpful independently from your job or label - your state of mind matters. Bring that healthy state of mind to bear instead of looking for it outside, and know where it is inside of yourself, and trust it - that above all else is what is desperately needed everywhere. The rest is just logistics, knowledge and cool tricks - none of which matter if a team can't communicate.
6. Be an "otherish giver." From a fascinating book called Give and Take, I learned that “otherish givers” – or people who are spending their time and effort to help people they can help without an expectation of reciprocity – tend to develop richer careers and networks. For an incredible example of what this looks like in the extreme, watch The Black Godfather on Netflix. I have seen this to be true, firsthand in my own life, and via mentors who have influenced me. People who have been served are often are excited to help when needed or asked in the future because a web of trust is created. "Takers" win in the short run, sometimes, but often leave a wake of bad vibes, broken integrity, and lose in the long run. That's not you if you've read this far.
7. Focused energy in the right direction matters. From soccer, I learned that it takes about 10 shots on goal for one to go in, statistically speaking. So if you’re shooting the ball in the wrong direction, you’re not likely to hit the net.
8. If you want to coach – coach. If you want to consult – start consulting. If you want to get into music – start playing music. One of my favorite quotes from coach and author, Steve Chandler, is “you’re either on the path, or off the path.” No magic – just time, attention - and conversations. (See inspiring book Creator and anything else by Steve Chandler if you're serious about change). It can be helpful to know where you are on the path in regards to your actual skill level for the art you're pursuing (yes, it's all art - whether you are a writer or an entrepreneur - it's all just the yeoman's work of creative process). If you are currently a "Manager" level with two years of experience, jumping to CEO of a fortune 500 is not going to happen, and you will embarrass yourself trying. But you can discover the path that will make it more likely, and then see what the next step is. And the next. However, you could jump to CEO of your own startup if you can see a way to do something better in the world and want that kind of big adventure. Just keep your eyes open that it's a ten year journey ahead.
In a deep study of mastery, there is not one masterful human who didn't put in the effort over a significant period of time to learn their craft. I think it was Byron Katie who says "you can achieve anything with 1,000 conversations." Imagine if you had two conversations a day for two years in the direction you want to go. I know, I know... "but I need a job NOW." Well, keep reading and you're likely to increase your chances of creating one.
9. Trust and integrity matter. From 15 years of sales and investor fundraising, I learned that it’s often much easier to do business with people who have shared values and mutual trust. Many of my new executive coaching clients are people I helped in the past, or worked with in another chapter, sometimes 16 years ago! They have high integrity. We have a high degree of trust and respect for each other. A fresh reconnection encounter has led to many new opportunities, because as time passes, our past colleagues have also grown their networks and are working on new projects currently.
I even had one client engagement come together with an old friend because I had a dream about her and I reached out and told her about the dream. The dream happened to be about her being in career trouble and that happened to be exactly what she needed help transitioning at the moment. "Do you want help with that?" We co-created a beautiful two-day nature retreat and slowing down helped her see her own resilience and creativity. She mustered the courage to leave her job that was no longer inspiring to her a few weeks later. Now a year later, she's in an exciting new role at a startup, pushing her boundaries, and we have an ongoing coaching relationship tackling the weekly challenges of the startup game.
10. Create, create, create. I am pretty sure we exist to create, and I always feel better when I follow my creative impulse. I follow these impulses daily. I try to get clear and ask myself "where does the energy in me want to go" and that usually leads to a clear next step. Today it led to finishing this article. And blowing into a didgeridoo as an experiment to free up my speaking voice. And the impulse to reach out to an old friend. The more I trust ideas that come to me when I’m feeling good and relaxed, the more I seem to put myself into the flow of life and connection with others as I share my life and creativity. Inspired action breeds inspired action.
In sum, if you wanted one catch-all tip that could change your trajectory, today, reach back out to people you’re drawn to from previous chapters in your life or career. Statistically, a lot of new opportunities happen that way. I read that somewhere and then proved it multiple times in my new domain of executive coaching. I love the feeling of reconnection and the surprise of learning how highly people thought of me in the past, especially if I assumed otherwise. We usually assume people don't like us. When this comes around, it's like we outsourced a piece of our memory in our relationships and then someone comes back around to us, like a quantum boomerang, reminding us it's not what we did, but who we are consistently across time that matters. It's the kindness and integrity and connection and goodness that radiates and resonates that lasts.
The most important principle in navigating a transition is how and who you're being, your spirits, and how you're showing up in your life - including with your family. The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. If you are bringing forward fear and stress into your interactions, you may as well be wearing new job repellent. Find a way to handle the fear and keep your stress levels low so you can think straight.
The way to avoid that state is to stay connected in caring relationships, take care of your body, stay in the game, ask for help, be in nature a lot, be with people who see who you are and love you without judgment, try creative experiments that motivate you, enjoy your time off, read a lot and grow, and keep honing in on what really sparks you. Stay away from the trap of "I should be better..." and just start being better, which really means, stop trying so hard. Hunker down into your unique weirdness and just let that fly.
That spark is infectious and changes the dynamic of how you present yourself. Don't worry about the perfect background or perfect story, or how you will prepare to present yourself.
Get into conversations, real ones, and share what you're curious about, interested in, and share stories of what you've learned and even failed at. Share what you're working on and would love to work on.
The paradox in all of this job seeking quandary, is that I've run into many, many employers who can't find competent, creative, reliable, self-sufficient people! That floors me. I'm surrounded by incredible people. Everyone is hungry for that kind of help.
If that's you, get out there and connect so people know you're a hidden asset and can direct you to where your unique help is needed.
Employers might look at your background, of course, to weed you out, but the most important variable is you showing up relaxed and confident that you are awesome and can probably help. Don't be afraid to just start creatively helping immediately versus describing what you've done - dive into their challenges and paint the picture of how you could help.
And let me know if you accept the "get a job without a resume" challenge. I still basically haven't used my resume since 2006 which is kind of fun after spending dozens of hours trying to perfect it back in the day.
When it comes to cool opportunities, there's always a side door if you keep looking for it. There's always the option to see a company you really love and find a unique way to add value that they can't refuse. The only way to find it, though, is through conversations and making requests.
Stay in the game. Go connect, create + serve.
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